Well, my last posting was over a year ago and two days before I discovered I was pregnant. Needless to say, my entire life has changed--and like the Fool, I had no idea where I was about to 'step'. How apropro to leave The Fool up, watching patiently over this blog for the last 19 months! So, I have certainly become more Fool-ish now that I am a Mother, and by Fool-ish I do not mean 'ignorant', silly or naive, but rather full of wonder and amazement. My daughter is incredible, and Motherhood is a novel journey. Like the Fool, I have adopted a definite zen attitude: I rarely plan a days events--instead I tune in with Lyla and we build our day according to our synergy.
So I have been drawing cards since she's been in utero. Keeping in mind that synergy is the combining of two forces to create a third that is more potent, I normally draw three cards for my readings: one to stand for Lyla, one for me, and the third for the combination of our energy (or our synergy). Yesterday the card symbolizing her was The Chariot. She is the Chariot through and through, and, as depicted in the Tarot of Prague card above, she is certainly ready to fly. She is in full exploration mode and--too bad for me-- she doesn't need a whole lot of sleep to keep herself going. It is as if she needs only to hold the reigns and her magic swans propel her according to her desires. She has found her power on many levels as shown through her physical, mental and emotional locomotion.
In my readings lately, The Chariot has also been about the danger of trying to fly too high. When we become good at something, or recognized for our achievements, our place in the spotlight can go to our heads and screw up our trajectory. The single-minded pursuit of our goal can isolate other people or other possibilities in our lives. We need to remember that to keep ourselves 'aloft' requires a balanced mind, body and spirit. This is not a lesson that Lyla is capable of digesting at this point in her development, which leads me to the card that stood for me...
The card for me was The Emperor. I took that to mean that my role was as the instructor, overseer and limit-setter. The Emperor is structure. He holds the position of authority and is the overseer of his empire (in this case my empire being only inhabited by a child, a husband and a cat). I can certainly relate to that, as I've felt the weight of the responsibility attached to my little empire. And, since Lyla really isn't capable yet of controlling how high she attempts to soar, my role has become the watcher and listener. I am literally and figuratively the invisible hands behind her ready to catch her when she falls.
I diverged a bit and drew a third card to symbolize my husband instead of the synergy between Lyla and I. His card was the Page of Pentacles. This is the practical student of the deck: someone who is actively engaged in learning a new skill. My husband of late has said he is enjoying being a Father more and more each day. I have watched his learning curve skyrocket as Lyla has become more mobile and communicative. He most definitely is learning a lot from her, not only about her, but about himself, too. Where I have felt like the Emperor, I have also felt he is not so Emperor-like. I have been the one with more time and energy invested in Lyla simply because Rathi has to work. That has put me in the position of being the one more 'in the know' about her and subsequently, the one informing and 'teaching' him about her growth while he's at the office.
The manner in which the Page is holding his Pentacle feels so reverential to me, and I do think that reverence aptly describes how Rathi feels about Lyla and about Fatherhood.
So there we have it...our happy family: Lyla flying high, me on my throne watching and protecting, and Rathi holding us all up in admiration. Next time I will have to include the cat, who is, by the way, very cool and communicative with the baby, but I'm sure has her own peculiar view of the whole story.
