The Chariot Says...

Well, my last posting was over a year ago and two days before I discovered I was pregnant. Needless to say, my entire life has changed--and like the Fool, I had no idea where I was about to 'step'. How apropro to leave The Fool up, watching patiently over this blog for the last 19 months!

So, I have certainly become more Fool-ish now that I am a Mother, and by Fool-ish I do not mean 'ignorant', silly or naive, but rather full of wonder and amazement. My daughter is incredible, and Motherhood is a novel journey. Like the Fool, I have adopted a definite zen attitude: I rarely plan a days events--instead I tune in with Lyla and we build our day according to our synergy.

So I have been drawing cards since she's been in utero. Keeping in mind that synergy is the combining of two forces to create a third that is more potent, I normally draw three cards for my readings: one to stand for Lyla, one for me, and the third for the combination of our energy (or our synergy). Yesterday the card symbolizing her was The Chariot. She is the Chariot through and through, and, as depicted in the Tarot of Prague card above, she is certainly ready to fly. She is in full exploration mode and--too bad for me-- she doesn't need a whole lot of sleep to keep herself going. It is as if she needs only to hold the reigns and her magic swans propel her according to her desires. She has found her power on many levels as shown through her physical, mental and emotional locomotion.

In my readings lately, The Chariot has also been about the danger of trying to fly too high. When we become good at something, or recognized for our achievements, our place in the spotlight can go to our heads and screw up our trajectory. The single-minded pursuit of our goal can isolate other people or other possibilities in our lives. We need to remember that to keep ourselves 'aloft' requires a balanced mind, body and spirit. This is not a lesson that Lyla is capable of digesting at this point in her development, which leads me to the card that stood for me...

The card for me was The Emperor. I took that to mean that my role was as the instructor, overseer and limit-setter. The Emperor is structure. He holds the position of authority and is the overseer of his empire (in this case my empire being only inhabited by a child, a husband and a cat). I can certainly relate to that, as I've felt the weight of the responsibility attached to my little empire. And, since Lyla really isn't capable yet of controlling how high she attempts to soar, my role has become the watcher and listener. I am literally and figuratively the invisible hands behind her ready to catch her when she falls.

I diverged a bit and drew a third card to symbolize my husband instead of the synergy between Lyla and I. His card was the Page of Pentacles. This is the practical student of the deck: someone who is actively engaged in learning a new skill. My husband of late has said he is enjoying being a Father more and more each day. I have watched his learning curve skyrocket as Lyla has become more mobile and communicative. He most definitely is learning a lot from her, not only about her, but about himself, too. Where I have felt like the Emperor, I have also felt he is not so Emperor-like. I have been the one with more time and energy invested in Lyla simply because Rathi has to work. That has put me in the position of being the one more 'in the know' about her and subsequently, the one informing and 'teaching' him about her growth while he's at the office.

The manner in which the Page is holding his Pentacle feels so reverential to me, and I do think that reverence aptly describes how Rathi feels about Lyla and about Fatherhood.

So there we have it...our happy family: Lyla flying high, me on my throne watching and protecting, and Rathi holding us all up in admiration. Next time I will have to include the cat, who is, by the way, very cool and communicative with the baby, but I'm sure has her own peculiar view of the whole story.

Zen Moment: We Are All The Fool

I have studied Tarot for years now, and always am amazed at how meanings and symbols continue to emerge--one never does truly become a Master with the Tarot. Or maybe they do...which brings me to The Fool.

He came up in my birthday reading last July as an indicator of where I'd be headed this year. Now in July, I was a slightly different person than I am today. We all are different than we were 6 months ago, if you really think about it. The meaning I attached to Him back then was 'newness'; the unknown; facing a new opportunity with a dash of innocence and a lot of faith. I took him as an indication of a very exciting year ahead.

Yesterday, however, I felt the urge to do some deep reading on The Fool. So I turned to my current favorite Tarot book, Tarot of the Spirit, by Pamela Eakins, and read that the Fool is all about process. Process. Take a moment to ponder this meaning of PROCESS: "a sustained phenomenon or one marked by gradual changes through a series of states."

When we are focused on process, we are focused on the phenomenon of the moment, and, most important, we are not focused on the outcome of the process. When I am focused on outcomes, it is not necessarily bad, but it is different than being immersed in the process. With outcomes in sight, one becomes more tense: when will I reach my goal? Am I closer? What obstacles will I face? Will it be what I hope it to be? All of these questions add to the quality of our day. Fear of not attaining our outcome also exists and affects our quality of life.

However, when the process is the only thing that matters, the quality of our day changes. We then 'live in the moment'. Pressure eases. Life becomes more enjoyable, and you know what? An outcome will still 'happen', but we may find it to be richer, or not what we at all thought, or not even important. By living in the moment, in the process, we are like the Fool: guided only by our inner promptings and oblivious to fear. We move through life and gradually enter different states of being, because we are unfolding naturally.

Living in the moment also engenders more faith. By deciding we are just going to 'do' what we feel called to do, with no fear of where it will lead us, we are saying to the Universe, I trust that by following my calling all will be well. When we leave fear out of the picture, we naturally increase our faith. Viva La Fool! Viva la process!

Still Transmitting...

Well, it's been a while since I've posted a reading. I've slacked in part due to health factors and to my volatility. Though I have still been reading cards, my new obsession is poetry, thus I've thrown myself into reading and writing it. I did ask Tarot about getting published in the next 6 months and the cards were puzzling, if not grim: 10 of Swords, Ace of Wands and Death (!). The message felt heavy. It felt off base. Were the cards talking about something else? With this combination the thought of actual death floated into my mind. They could also signify a solid "no", with the blossoming, hopeful, creative Ace of Wands being crushed from both sides by knives and the reaper on horseback. Then I realized I had written a poem about death, titled "Arrival". Will this be the one to be accepted for publication first? Stay tuned....

Question from J.: Is this new guy I met a good romantic match for me?

Judgment, 9 of Pentacles and the Hierophant. I drew another card for the Hierophant to look upon, as he was looking into space. We got the 9 of Swords for him to gaze upon.

The first thing that struck me was that he has a lot of power, and/or, you are giving him a lot of power. The people in the Judgment card look to be worshiping the angelic trumpet player, and the two people in the Hierophant card are most certainly worshiping/revering the main figure there. In each card, there is someone in obvious control, with attending 'worshipers'. Notice, too, that each dominant figure is not looking at his 'people'. I feel a sense of ego in both of these images--like the guy is not concerned with who he's affecting--he's just preoccupied with his own work and with his own methods.

Then we have the number 9 showing up in the other two cards: the 9 of Pentacles and the 9 of Swords, which the Hierophant is looking at. Among other things, 9 represents our unconscious and it is ruled by the moon. I think with the 9 of Pentacles in between Judgment and Hierophant, we have an indication of unconscious desires manifesting. Is there a desire, (expressed or not) to have someone for you to look up to? To have a sense of connection to someone who exudes a lot of spiritual authority?

With the Hierophant looking at the 9 of Swords, there is a sense that this man may be really tapped into acting out in an 'elevated' manner due to unconscious desires to be right and to be perceived as an authority. The 9 of Swords also is tied into the idea of mental pain, so I'm wondering why he's focused on this card. Is there some issue he has not cleared up? I'm tending to think so by looking at these cards.

I hope this helps you--please let me know how it goes and tell me if any of the images bring anything up for you.